id like to thank my laggy wifi for this miracle
- Mom: why is everything on the floor?
- Me: gravity mom
can we skip this whole “college” thing and go straight and go to the part where i have a really awesome job and spend all my time traveling?
Writing an essay
Finishing the essay
Turning the essay in
omg this is perfect
THIS GIRL AT MY SCHOOL IS PREGNANT AND SHE POSTED THIS AND CAPTIONED IT
”♥HIS TOUNG IS OUT♥”
BITCH DO YOU NOT SEE THAT IS A DEMON
THE GRUDGE IS IN YOUR STOMACH
IF YOU’RE 14 WHY ARE YOU TAKING NUDES??????
yeah i know right?? when i was 14 i was on my 10th sex tape omg kids these days
Twinkle twinkle little slut
Name a guy you haven’t fucked.
Was he skinny?
Was he tall?
Nevermind you did them all.
Twinkle twinkle little bitch
Close your legs it smells like fish.
Twinkle twinkle little shit
Try to think of this a bit:
Does it affect
You at all
Who has sex or none at all?
No it doesn’t, little shit,
Shut your fucking mouth you twit.
“I’m sorry. This is the first time I’ve hired a maid.”
The only woman on this movie whom I saw fit to raise a child, and she was the only one who couldn’t.
WOW THAT COMMENT WASN’T OKAY
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